Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
