how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize