Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
