I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
