u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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