it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
