He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
