When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Just pee around me
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
