wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
