it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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