Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
