If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
