My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I'm going to jail i love you
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
