well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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