Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
