This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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