We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
