It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
