Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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