Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I'm like, not good at living.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
