we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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