Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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