Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yo dont text me then not text me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
