I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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