he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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