Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
