Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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