got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize