we have officially mastered the walk of shame
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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