I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
