so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
