Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
