I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
