I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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