am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
