ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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