i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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