i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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