: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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