Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
