my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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