Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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