I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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