He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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