apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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