what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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