sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize