I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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