the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
