Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
