Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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