textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
