I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize