five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
