I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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