if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
