I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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